YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
