She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
