You're so nebulous sometimes
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
