I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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