Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
