I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize