He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
