she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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