My sheets look like a crime scene.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
