Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
