What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
