if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
