i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
