That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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