No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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