I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
