I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
