How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
