there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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