Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
