Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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