it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
