just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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