I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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