the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
