you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
