I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
