Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
