She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
