is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
