i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
