so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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