remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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