and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He felt like a one man threesome
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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