On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
40s are totally the cure
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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