I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
