oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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