We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
