is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
