I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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