I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
