my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
