singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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