Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
