I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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