Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
