I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
