I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Mom said you looked used
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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