Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
