Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize