so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
