And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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