What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
