you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
