HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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