Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize