Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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