Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
