READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize