i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
