if i can run in heels then i can drive
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize