you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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