he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
