Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
