Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
